Bad behaviour in children can be frustrating – I guess we could think there is no bad behaviour but we have all seen the kid tantrums in the supermarket, the biting, hitting and smacking child at toddler groups and play areas and the children that just won’t do as there told but what can we do to stamp out this bad behaviour. Here are my 3 steps depending on child ages:
1 – Time out
Sometimes especially with older children they get worked up and frustrated at things, they don’t know how to handle this behaviour and this can cause them to shout or be angry so they need somewhere to relax and calm down with their own frustrations. A step or seat can be useful for toddler aged children, one minute per year of their lives to say to them go sit there, your behaviour is unacceptable and to think about their behaviour. They need you to sit down eye level with them and explain why it is unacceptable though, kids may not understand what they have done wrong so explaining is essential. Also when giving punishments for bad behaviour if you threaten to take a toy away or that your child isn’t going to get the treat then follow it through because otherwise your child will walk all over you and the behaviour only gets worse, stamp it out when they are young so they grow up behaving better and making good choices.
2 – Rewarding the good
If children get attention for bad behaviour of course they will play up to it, obviously you need to tell the child off and remove a toy or stop them from electric items for one day or no sweets etc but then you have to ignore the bad behaviour. Then reward the good behaviour, when they are good for a period of time suggest they get extra quality time with a parent, it doesn’t have to cost anything it can be a trip to the park or even a small chocolate bar from the shop just to say We are proud of you for making the right choices and for your consistent good behaviour.
3 – Explain things and communicate
Your child has a right to feel angry, annoyed, sad, happy or indifferent, they should be encouraged to communicate about how they are feeling and know you are always there to support them and offer advice. If they are behaving a certain way that you as a parent don’t want to tolerate have a chat with them and try to get to the route cause. Some children find it easier to draw things to help them explain how they are feeling and some kids just need a little time and reassurance. Also ask your children to explain why they are behaving a certain way and ask them what the right choice would have been. Now my kids are a little older we have good choices and bad choices, I try and encourage them to think about their choices and choose the right choice and explain why.
I find the other thing especially as my children have got older is to pick my battles, remember what you were like as a child and remember they all go through fazes so learn to be a little tolerable to things you find annoying, my son’s running commentary on Xbox playing fortnite or my daughters constantly arguing about being my favourite because some things don’t matter in the grand scheme of things, so long as they are polite out of the house, have good manners and make good choices that is all I am asking for.